The Power of Focus: Julie Lehr’s Story

[00:00:00] Mary: Hey folks. Thanks for tuning in. You know, when you meet someone who has a knockout quality that you admire so much and you wish you had more of yourself, and then you envision that if you only had more of that yourself, you'd. I don't know, be further better off in all kinds of ways. Well, that was me with Dr.

[00:00:17] Mary: Julie Lehr. She is a dentist, an entrepreneur, a friend of mine, and she has this incredible quality of knowing with a hundred percent certainty that she will achieve any goal she sets for herself. And in fact, she almost doesn't understand that other people can't do the same. So this conversation with her goes back to grade school, um, the goals she set for herself in high school and the journey to the business that she's built today and continues to grow, uh, quite intentionally.

[00:00:48] Mary: So, hope you enjoy this conversation. I think by the end, you'll admire her as much as I do. And, uh, thanks again for tuning in.

[00:00:57] Mary: [00:01:00] Welcome to and that changed everything. I'm your host, Mary Fearon, and this is a show where some of the world's most interesting and successful people unpack three pivotal moments that shaped who they are and how they show up. I've been working with business leaders for decades, and it's clear, it's the stories, not the titles that shape us.

[00:01:18] Mary: These moments change how we lead, how we live, and what we make possible. I learned so much from each of these conversations, and I hope you do too. Let's jump in.

[00:01:28] Mary: Let's start by you telling me one of the books you've gifted recently.

[00:01:35] Julie: So Extreme Ownership.

[00:01:38] Mary: Yeah. I,

[00:01:39] Mary: jock Willink Willink. Mm-hmm.

[00:01:42] Julie: Yep. So I had my whole leadership ship team read that book. But then a couple years ago, maybe, maybe two years ago, my son, he's a little bit like my husband and me. He doesn't like to admit he's wrong.

[00:01:57] Julie: He doesn't like to say sorry. So there, [00:02:00] so I can't even remember what happened, but something happened that was definitely his fault. He wasn't owning up to it, and that was his punishment. He had to read that book, but even though it took him, it's a big book. Yeah, it took him a long time. But I think I took away his PlayStation, his phone ev like he wasn't allowed to have any of that back until he finished the book.

[00:02:21] Julie: So. That was motivating. He did finish the book, but now it's interesting 'cause he, he does quote things from it every now,

[00:02:29] Mary: does he?

[00:02:29] Julie: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:02:30] Mary: So how old was he when he had this punishment? Roughly?

[00:02:35] Julie: 12. 11 maybe.

[00:02:37] Mary: Is that

[00:02:37] Mary: right?

[00:02:38] Julie: 11? Yeah.

[00:02:39] Mary: Because that's a grownup book.

[00:02:40] Julie: It's a very grownup book.

[00:02:42] Mary: Yeah. Okay.

[00:02:43] Julie: The lessons

[00:02:43] Julie: in there,

[00:02:44] Julie: basically.

[00:02:44] Julie: So what, you're the leader, everything's your fault.

[00:02:49] Mary: Right.

[00:02:50] Julie: Okay. Because it starts at the top.

[00:02:52] Mary: Yes.

[00:02:53] Julie: So instead of thinking by the time you get to the top and you're the leader, that it's, you know, your [00:03:00] team or it's this situation or this, it's extreme ownership. Like everything is your fault and you own it.

[00:03:09] Mary: I love that.

[00:03:10] Mary: I love that. Yeah. Um, so what does he quote from it?

[00:03:13] Julie: Hmm. Well, I think just things with sports. Recently, you know, he doesn't quote it exactly, but I'll, I'll reference something. And he is like, I know mom, I know in the book, um, you know, like if complain about a teammate or a play or, you know, I'm like, what could you have done?

[00:03:35] Julie: What, what could you have done differently? Or, you know? Yeah.

[00:03:39] Mary: Oh, I love that. It reminds me of a quote that my mom always says, and I like the older I get, I quote my mom more. She always says the fish rots from the head, which is kind of like weird. And I bring it up in like workshops and stuff all the time.

[00:03:51] Mary: But it is that idea that it all starts with you. Yeah. It starts with leadership or whatever. Yeah. I think that's so cool. And my kids are now 18 and [00:04:00] 20 and I definitely could have used some of those punishments that I did. Like what a good idea. Not just take away the PlayStation or say they can't go out with their friends on the weekend.

[00:04:09] Mary: Make it like a constructive exercise of learning.

[00:04:12] Julie: Yeah. Like, you're gonna get better. Like, and it, the book was, had to do with what he had done wrong. You know. Totally. I, I love self-help books. I would read. I mean, that's all I read. Yeah. So I, I love reading that kind of thing. I know that's, you know, maybe not other people's favorite thing to do, but I, I thought, well, you're gonna get better.

[00:04:32] Mary: You're gonna get better. Yeah. And what,

[00:04:34] Mary: what a great opportunity for you to have made a mistake and now I can hold this over you and you have to now read to get better too. Yeah. I love it. I was reading Tony Robbins when I was 15. You might know that about me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I love self-help stuff too. I don't know, like, becoming a better version of yourself and figuring out a way to always get better and, and knowing that there's like just a world and a history full of [00:05:00] people who have learned things that then you could learn by just listening to them.

[00:05:05] Mary: Like, to me it's like,

[00:05:07] Julie: it shouldn't even be a punishment.

[00:05:09] Mary: Yeah, it's like a gift.

[00:05:11] Julie: You've got to do that.

[00:05:12] Mary: That's right. I love it. I love it. Alright, well thank you for that everybody. I am talking to Dr. Julie Lair. She is a dentist with a very successful practice and a friend of mine, somebody I met, I don't know, a couple years ago.

[00:05:27] Julie: Mm-hmm.

[00:05:27] Mary: And, um, I love conversations with Julie because I, I'm wired differently, so I love when I meet with people who are wired differently than me 'cause I learn so much. So thank you so much for being part of this conversation. No problem. Right on. Okay, so the purpose of this conversation is to really understand who you are and what drives you and all of that.

[00:05:48] Mary: So will you give us a little bit, like, I know you're a dentist, I've met your team, I know what you're trying to do in your business and all of that. But I would just, I, we haven't actually talked in detail about what got you to this place in this moment. [00:06:00] Running a practice and looking to grow it and looking to grow your team and all those things.

[00:06:03] Mary: So, can we go back a little bit, just give us a little context.

[00:06:08] Julie: Mm-hmm. So how I

[00:06:08] Julie: got to be a dentist or just,

[00:06:10] Mary: well, just, just background, just like a little bit of background on who you are, where you grew up, what you, maybe what when you went, where you went to school. I don't know, just like a little bit of getting to know you first.

[00:06:20] Julie: So I'm from Lancaster, Pennsylvania. I grew up in a neighborhood of all boys. Ah. So I was a Tom tomboy played all the sports, like we did whatever was in season out and if we had a big field behind our house. So we would play football, baseball, basketball. And I was not the last one picked on the team, even though I was the only girl.

[00:06:45] Julie: And then

[00:06:47] Mary: question

[00:06:47] Julie: what?

[00:06:48] Mary: So do you think you were a tomboy as a result of growing up on the street with just boys? Or do you think you were naturally, sounds like you had some natural ability. I was often last person picked. And I like to explain [00:07:00] that is 'cause I moved around a lot and never got to try a sport long enough.

[00:07:03] Mary: But I just think I was naturally not as coordinated as others. So it sounds like you had some natural ability and inclination and affinity for sports and things.

[00:07:14] Mary: Yeah. I think that would've been the case. No matter. No matter the neighborhood. Yeah. I think it's probably shaped my communication style and my comfort level with situations.

[00:07:28] Mary: You know, like one of the coach meetings I went to, I was the only woman in the room, didn't bother me one single bit. Right. You know, so it shaped those sort of things. But being athletic or being involved or, you know, driven and liking, I don't, I don't think that had to do with the neighborhood. I think I was born like that.

[00:07:49] Mary: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that's, and then what's funny to me too is that one of the first things you said is that you were never the last one picked 'cause you're a girl. Yeah. What's cool [00:08:00] about that is I happen to know a little bit about you and if you do Strengths finder, which is a, and we'll put, we'll put the, we'll put the link in the show notes, but Julie and I know each other through a coaching group that we're in called Strategic Coach.

[00:08:10] Mary: And so we do these assessments to understand ourselves better and our impact on teams and stuff like that. And Julie, what is your number one strength finder Strength? Competitive. Right. Which is so funny, you know, for me, like Yeah, I would not, I, yeah, that wouldn't be the first thing I would say about being, not being the first person, not being the last person first blah person.

[00:08:31] Mary: Picked

[00:08:32] Julie: and competitive with myself. With myself. It's interesting because some people say, oh, comparison is the thief of joy, you know? Mm-hmm. And I'm like, huh? Like, that makes no sense to me whatsoever. I love competing. It makes me feel alive, you know? And Yep. I, I don't, I don't know. And even if, and, and, and it doesn't, and it's not just about winning, right?

[00:08:57] Julie: So if I, if it was only about [00:09:00] winning, I would be fine with playing whoever I could beat, right? No, I want to play the best like I want. You know, even in groups of people now, like I find a group of people and I, I wanna strive. It shows me what's possible. If they're doing it, then I can do it too. Totally.

[00:09:17] Julie: Um, but then once I'm at the top, it's not really about standing on the podium being first because Yeah. I don't really need the recognition for that, nor is that the point. Right. Like, so I need a new group then like, if I'm number one, I want to be number one. But once I've accomplished that and I, that's that, then yeah.

[00:09:36] Julie: I need

[00:09:37] Julie: a bigger group

[00:09:38] Julie: to,

[00:09:39] Mary: so I think that's so interesting though. 'cause your filter on com on being competitive is different than maybe what people initially think, which is I always need to be better than I need to be. The best. I, and it's true, like, if you're hanging around a bunch of people, if you're a runner and you hang around a bunch of people who are slower than you, yes.

[00:09:55] Mary: You're the best, but you're the best of a slow group of runners. Yeah. Whereas you [00:10:00] are driven to be with people. Who are doing things to challenge you to get better. So they're better than right? Yes. It's about the C cha.

[00:10:08] Julie: I love the challenge.

[00:10:09] Mary: Yeah.

[00:10:10] Julie: It's not about winning, although I love winning. If it's not a cha, if it was a blowout, that doesn't bring me joy.

[00:10:18] Julie: But that's why competing doesn't, I don't know. Some people it, it stresses them out or it's,

[00:10:25] Mary: yeah. Well, I, so I don't know where competitive is on my top 34 strengths. It's certainly not in the top 10. But I can appreciate the, you wanna be better than, so it could be you better than you. Better than before.

[00:10:41] Julie: It's mostly

[00:10:42] Julie: better.

[00:10:43] Mary: Yeah.

[00:10:43] Julie: It's mostly better than me. Better than before.

[00:10:46] Mary: Yeah. So

[00:10:49] Julie: that's where.

[00:10:51] Mary: I think competition gets kind of a bad rap in our world because it, it's, it's like an us versus them. Or in order for [00:11:00] me to win, other people need to lose. But I don't think that's the intent of that, um, that strength because it really is that there's an, um, an unsettledness of their complacency wouldn't be in your vocabulary.

[00:11:14] Mary: Like, why would we stay where we are? If we know how to do this, we need to go to the next level, which to me is more about progress. Mm-hmm. Than it is about win versus lose.

[00:11:23] Julie: Well, that's also the interesting thing when they, somebody reaches a record, like something that no one could break, and then one person does it and then all of a sudden 10 other people are capable, 10 other people do it.

[00:11:36] Julie: Right. Yeah. That's what competition is, right? It's like pushing people to be better than they thought they could.

[00:11:44] Mary: Yeah. Which we were talking about this earlier, but like human beings are wired for, I believe, two things to connect. 'cause in order to live and survive, we need to be connected to each other.

[00:11:55] Mary: It's why there's like all the people around the cities, et cetera, et cetera, way back when [00:12:00] they used to banish people out into the woods when they did something wrong against the community. And then they would end up dying 'cause they can't live on their own. So, connection, but contribution, we, we need to make progress.

[00:12:09] Mary: Like the reason we're all standing on the earth today is because we've consistently, as human beings, made progress. So that we can survive and thrive and grow to, you know, more than 8 billion people on the planet. Right?

[00:12:21] Julie: Yep.

[00:12:21] Mary: So, it's actually a human, like it's a human need.

[00:12:27] Julie: Yeah.

[00:12:27] Mary: To grow and make progress.

[00:12:28] Mary: So,

[00:12:29] Julie: and connection for me, like it wasn't, it was never individual sports. I hated individual sports.

[00:12:35] Mary: Right.

[00:12:36] Julie: I ran track and field in junior high and I was good and I had records and every race I was more stressed out, more stressed out. 'cause it was all by myself. Just win or lose. I hated that type of competition.

[00:12:49] Julie: Yeah. I always liked team sports.

[00:12:51] Julie: Right.

[00:12:52] Julie: Um,

[00:12:52] Mary: so what

[00:12:52] Mary: is it about team sports?

[00:12:55] Julie: Probably the connection and being a part of something bigger than yourself. Mm-hmm. So my, one of my big, [00:13:00] big things was, so I went to Catholic school, then high school, I, well I went to public school growing up in grade school, junior high.

[00:13:07] Julie: But I knew I wanted to go to Lancaster Catholic, which is the Catholic high school in my area. That girls basketball was top of the top. Ah. You know, it wasn't just, it was like what the school was known for. We had a coach that was there for many years, they'd run, won multiple state championships. It was a program.

[00:13:26] Mary: Okay.

[00:13:27] Julie: Um, so I went to a camp. They had, and the camp guy, athletic director at the time, ran the camp and he had us write down on little index cards our goals. And I did that at the, and I still saved them from 1993, my goal cards. But it was then my goal.

[00:13:48] Mary: How

[00:13:48] Mary: old were you then?

[00:13:50] Julie: 19.

[00:13:50] Mary: And what

[00:13:50] Mary: grade?

[00:13:51] Julie: Well, I'm 43 now.

[00:13:54] Mary: Oh, okay. So I was 18 and 93. So I am seven years older than you. So you would've been [00:14:00] 11, 10, 11,

[00:14:01] Mary: yeah.

[00:14:01] Mary: 11 writing goals. Okay. And you still have them? Yes. Yes. Okay. Are you gonna share what they are?

[00:14:09] Julie: I can if

[00:14:10] Mary: you want me to. I do. I wanna, I think I now wanna know what the, what, 11-year-old came there, you know,

[00:14:15] Julie: 10-year-old

[00:14:16] Julie: myself.

[00:14:17] Julie: Yeah. Yeah. Um, oh gosh,

[00:14:21] Mary: that's amazing. I love this. So.

[00:14:26] Julie: I wanted to, my most important goal is to play high school basketball for Lancaster Catholic. Okay. That's clear. I, I did lots of, I did a description of it and then I said priority one, why? It was priority one, because I would like to succeed from the start, and if I don't, I can't accomplish some of my other goals.

[00:14:49] Julie: And so then I wanted to get a ba, a scholarship to college to play basketball, which I did not do, but I, that's what I wanted. I wanted to play on the, [00:15:00] the we, the WNBA didn't even exist back then.

[00:15:03] Mary: I don't think so.

[00:15:04] Julie: So I just wanted to play on the Olympic team.

[00:15:07] Mary: Oh, of course.

[00:15:08] Julie: And then further, okay. I would like to get, I wanted to become a teacher at that time.

[00:15:13] Julie: I, my goal was to be a teacher. I was gonna go to college and become a teacher, and then this is the most hilarious goal ever. For a long time I had to dream that I, Julie Wrestler would someday become the first woman president of the United States of America.

[00:15:30] Mary: That

[00:15:31] Mary: still could be true.

[00:15:33] Julie: It could happen.

[00:15:34] Mary: It could happen.

[00:15:35] Julie: I do think,

[00:15:36] Mary: and

[00:15:36] Mary: some people might argue that'd be the best thing for the world,

[00:15:39] Julie: they haven't met you. The problem

[00:15:40] Julie: would be, but now that I know what politicians like, yeah, I know a lot different things now. So that's no longer a goal, but I had goals is the important thing. So the camp made me write down the goals and I did play basketball at Lancaster Catholic and that was like, you know,

[00:15:57] Julie: yeah,

[00:15:58] Julie: that's all I cared about.

[00:15:59] Mary: [00:16:00] That is so cool to me that you had such specific goals at 11. I don't know what I was doing at 11. It was probably. Uh, I don't know, watching movies and hanging out with my friends.

[00:16:10] Julie: I was so focused.

[00:16:10] Julie: I mean, I would do, I would go in my basement and do basketball drills. I was, you know, and I got hit by a car when I was in fourth grade, and the first thing I said in the ambulance was, will I ever be able to play basketball again?

[00:16:24] Julie: It's all I,

[00:16:24] Mary: did you love basketball that much? Did you love it or was it just the, like, were you just so focused on the team sport?

[00:16:31] Julie: I loved basketball, but it was just, it was like the goal now that I've never even asked that question. It's a really interesting question. Yeah. So a little bit of both. I just loved the idea of, I mean, I, I, I love competing.

[00:16:49] Julie: I, but it was because it was like a program there and it was so I wanted to be a part of that.

[00:16:56] Mary: Yeah,

[00:16:57] Mary: that, well, what's

[00:16:58] Mary: what's interesting to me is [00:17:00] you are so driven and clear. Like for instance, like of course you had goals when you were 11 and of course you had a goal to play on a team. And then of course you went and played on that team.

[00:17:10] Mary: Like you've said to me before, that you, all you have to do is decide to do something and then you, you do what's required to to achieve that. So it's interesting that the joy maybe you get is from achieving the goal. And basketball was the, in your time and space and community and all the things and people you knew basketball was the way to do it.

[00:17:34] Julie: It was,

[00:17:35] Julie: yeah. Playing on that team and it w so I guess I can answer your question 'cause it didn't go beyond, it was specifically playing basketball at Lancaster Catholic. Yeah. To the point where I would not, I didn't look to college because I was so focused on there, like it felt not right for me to.

[00:17:55] Julie: Try to market myself to get into cop. Like I, it was, my focus was [00:18:00] there and that team and

[00:18:02] Mary: that's

[00:18:02] Mary: so crazy.

[00:18:02] Julie: My last game my senior year, I slept in my uniform. No. Would not take the uniform off. Now. Why? 'cause I knew it was, it. I was never put in that uniform. And I had spent, from the time I was in third grade

[00:18:18] Mary: mm-hmm.

[00:18:19] Julie: It was, so that's all I wanted to do was play basketball there. And it, I, I had to take that uni like, so imagine being that focused for that many years and then it had to end. Like that was brutal.

[00:18:30] Mary: That must have been so hard.

[00:18:31] Julie: I, that was a rough spot for me. And then my mom was like, you have to apply to college.

[00:18:38] Julie: Like, so I just asked my friends where they were. I'm like, you know, I didn't, I was in denial that senior year was over in high school. Yeah. And so I just ask my friends where they're applying. One of my girlfriend's boyfriend at the time, he was applying to Penn State, so that was one of the schools I applied to, well,

[00:18:58] Mary: mm-hmm.

[00:18:59] Julie: Of course, [00:19:00] when I went on college visits, you know, then there was Joe Paterno and there was, you know,

[00:19:05] Mary: oh yeah.

[00:19:05] Julie: Football program there. So, I mean, that's why I picked to go to Penn State.

[00:19:09] Mary: So tell me. Okay. Pretty, pretty much. That's so interesting. And so I'm now gonna just make an assumption that you did well academically.

[00:19:17] Julie: Yes.

[00:19:18] Mary: Because again, goal-driven person, like you're right. Like, and competitive and stuff, competitive with yourself, like it wouldn't be good enough for you to get bad grades.

[00:19:27] Julie: My

[00:19:27] Julie: senior year of high school, I decided I wanted to be a dentist. Oh, okay. So I had an anatomy class and we dissected cats and I loved it.

[00:19:39] Julie: And I, I was like, I wanna be, I, at that point I thought, well, I, I need to do something with my hands and I need to be important. I wanted to be important, and I felt surgeon. Because I, like, I regular doctors basically, you know, they diagnose and they prescribe, but to me that was mm-hmm. I wanted to [00:20:00] actually do something.

[00:20:01] Julie: But a surgeon is on call. I, I knew I still wanted to be a wife and have kids, so surgeon was not really appealing. And a girl on my basketball team at the time, her dad was a dentist. And I was like, personally I liked going to the dentist as a kid. Everyone was super friendly, you know, they knew my name.

[00:20:22] Julie: Um, but I had never had dental work. I didn't even know, I, honestly, I felt that dentist just came in. I thought, dang, that hygienist does all the work. The dentist just comes, the dentist just comes in and says, looks good. Like I didn't, I had never had dental work, so I didn't realize the dentist was running their own schedule.

[00:20:39] Julie: You know, that them coming to check your teeth was like a side thing they did. But I knew that's fine. He like. Was a doctor and still was at my teammates every game. Like he, he was a doctor, he could be important, he could do stuff. So he wasn't just prescribing, he was respected.

[00:20:58] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:20:59] Julie: And [00:21:00] but he still was able to have the flexibility to come to her games, you know, that he wasn't right

[00:21:06] Julie: in the hockey,

[00:21:06] Mary: that he still

[00:21:07] Mary: had a life around that.

[00:21:08] Mary: Yeah. That you could direct that. Yeah. See, to me, I have such a different high school experience, but to me that's a lot of clarity and alignment around what matters to you at a pretty young age.

[00:21:19] Julie: Yeah. I knew, yeah.

[00:21:20] Mary: Yeah.

[00:21:21] Julie: I knew what mattered and I made the decision that that's what I was gonna do. And then.

[00:21:26] Julie: That became the goal and that did it.

[00:21:27] Mary: So this is, this, this speaks to like an incredible amount of focus. Like even the description of the basketball team. It's like nothing else mattered. My vision was on the basketball team. I played on the basketball team. You were almost describing what I imagined it would be like for an NBA player after the end of their career, because their entire life was focused on being a high performance player.

[00:21:49] Mary: And then when that's over now what? There's like a lot of identity crises that happened at that time. And you like described that on a micro level in high school.

[00:21:56] Julie: A

[00:21:56] Julie: hundred percent of that. It was, yeah. I, I didn't [00:22:00] know who I was without, and so again, no one ever asked me that about basketball. But you're absolutely right because I, it's not like I, I played club basketball at Penn State for fun.

[00:22:12] Julie: Mm-hmm. But you know, it was like, it wasn't about, I guess it wasn't about the basketball. I mean, you know,

[00:22:19] Mary: it might've

[00:22:19] Mary: been the soccer team in a different town.

[00:22:21] Julie: Yeah. Oh yeah. The different,

[00:22:23] Mary: right. Yeah. Yeah. And because you're athletic anyway, it's not like you just had like the only thing you were good at was basketball.

[00:22:28] Mary: You probably, yeah, I

[00:22:29] Julie: played soccer too at Catholic high. Yeah. But I did it the month, like we would go deep into the postseason and so I would play soccer for a month and then, and I actually had, at one point I was the leading goal scorer at my school for soccer. Right. Um, too. So you're absolutely right.

[00:22:47] Julie: Yeah. If soccer was like the program there, I'd have been all in.

[00:22:51] Mary: That would've been the dream.

[00:22:52] Julie: I would've been all in on

[00:22:53] Julie: soccer.

[00:22:55] Mary: Isn't that funny that the context of the situation is the thing that guides you? [00:23:00] Now tell me, 'cause I'm curious about this intense focus. I don't have that intense focus, so this is why I'm so curious about it, because I imagine that that's such a superpower to accomplishment that like that you can be so laser focused on an outcome.

[00:23:20] Mary: That nothing would stop you. So in the same timeframe of life, you're going through puberty, there are friends and boys and girls and whoever you're interested in or whatever there's like dances and distractions galore.

[00:23:34] Julie: Yeah.

[00:23:34] Mary: And you're still so focused on, you know, the basketball and then even, even though it wasn't, you don't describe it this way, but you obviously did really well in school to get it to Penn State Uhhuh.

[00:23:46] Mary: Right. So like, do you know where that level of focus comes from or was it just you were born with it?

[00:23:55] Julie: I think I was born with it.

[00:23:57] Mary: Yeah. You don't know yourself without it? [00:24:00] No. Yeah. That's pretty cool.

[00:24:03] Julie: Nor do I, nor do I, you know, like they talk in coach about the unique ability and not realize mm-hmm. You know, your actual unique ability, you don't realize because totally. Other, so it's funny, the way you just described that when I sent out the questionnaires for, for different people, that was exactly basically what my brother said.

[00:24:24] Julie: My unique ability was focus that mm-hmm. That ability to unw to just stay focused and not let any distraction set me away from what I was attempting to accomplish.

[00:24:41] Mary: You know, it's so interesting. So in the world of like, so again, through Strategic Coach, and I'm just, for people who don't know, strategic Coach, there is a thought process or mindset around something called uni ability or zone of genius or core strengths that everybody has these innate things that they, gifts that they [00:25:00] bring and that, you know, in life, it's your job to figure out what it is and give it away.

[00:25:04] Mary: I think Mark Twain said that essentially, so what's interesting about it is we take those things for granted. And I can't tell you, like Julie, you and I have had, I don't know how many conversations, but you're always shocked that people don't meet their goals. You're always like, I don't understand how people can't, like, it's literally just a decision and a follow through and why, like,

[00:25:26] Julie: decide and then you just Well, yeah.

[00:25:29] Julie: I, I am,

[00:25:31] Mary: I know. I think it's awesome if you could bottle it though. 'cause like, you know, in the same think about, and there's a statistic and I'm not gonna get it right, but I'll get the essence of it, right. That's kind of how I enroll in new Year's resolutions. I think people give, like 25% of people make it through to their make, like actually achieve their goal or something less than 25%.

[00:25:52] Mary: So all these people make New Year's resolutions and less than 25% of 'em, it might even be as low as 10 actually achieve them. [00:26:00] Now, I would be willing to bet that 100% of your New Year's resolutions should you make them, you would achieve.

[00:26:07] Julie: Well, you know what's interesting about that? I, I said this to my staff at one point.

[00:26:12] Julie: I think some people set goals around the end, right? Mm-hmm. But I set goals more around, at this point in my life, yeah. Is more about what I wanna do.

[00:26:26] Mary: So, okay, so not an outcome, like, I wanna lose 50 pounds, or I wanna run 10 K or whatever like that. No. So the running

[00:26:35] Julie: thing was like, I know that I, I don't consider myself a runner.

[00:26:40] Julie: I don't, but I will train for anything that I sign up for. So I've done four marathons and the marathon had nothing to do with accomplishing the marathon. It was, I know that I should run, right? So I'm gonna sign up for a marathon, and then I'm definitely gonna run right.

[00:26:59] Mary: Did you [00:27:00] all

[00:27:00] Mary: fail that outcome?

[00:27:01] Julie: No, I'm not gonna, exactly right.

[00:27:03] Julie: Yeah.

[00:27:04] Mary: So I just think it's so fascinating 'cause there's a world of people who aren't wired like you. So if we could bottle that thing you have, and you're right, intellectually, it's a simple thing. Make a commitment and then do the work

[00:27:19] Julie: well. Right. So I think other people, if their goal, their goal was to run the marathon, yeah, they would be happy if they went and they ran the marathon.

[00:27:30] Julie: But my goal is to do the running.

[00:27:33] Mary: Right. So by the time and the marathon's a means to the end.

[00:27:36] Julie: Yeah. So by the time you get to the marathon now I'll set new, I set finish goal. I mean, I do other shit, but like that's, that doesn't matter. Yeah. But if, if I had not trained the whole time, that defeats the purpose.

[00:27:51] Julie: That defeats why I set. The training was the part that mattered. Right. But the training was the actual goal. [00:28:00]

[00:28:00] Mary: Yes. Where people wanna reach the goal. The training is the means to the end for you, you wanted the running and the marathon was the means to the end. Because you know, in your brain, the way it works is the minute you commit to something, you make it happen.

[00:28:17] Mary: So done. It's gonna happen. That commitment's gonna make you do the work.

[00:28:20] Julie: Right.

[00:28:22] Mary: Interesting.

[00:28:23] Julie: If I wanted to eat healthy, like mm-hmm. Because I felt like that makes me feel good and that's good for me, then yes, I would set the goal to lose the 20 pounds because then I know I would eat healthy.

[00:28:34] Mary: Right. I wish I was wired that way.

[00:28:38] Mary: I mean, I'm a pretty driven person too. Like, I think, um, I need to value something. So I need, like, the thing that I do needs to be like. Become a human value of mine, for instance, eating healthy. Yeah. I feel so strongly that vegetables are such a huge part of life [00:29:00] and that my, like my cells feel happier when I eat vegetables, that I actually now attach joy to eating vegetables.

[00:29:05] Mary: There's a lot of people think, oh, I gotta add the broccoli to my plate, or whatever. But for me it becomes like, it it like I get it at like a purpose level. Whereas,

[00:29:14] Julie: so That's

[00:29:14] Julie: perfect though. 'cause you under that. Yeah. You, as long as you understand what drives you, then just do that. Right? Totally. Which for me, I know what drives me is the competition of it.

[00:29:27] Julie: So a whole 30 becomes a competition.

[00:29:31] Mary: Yeah.

[00:29:31] Julie: If I say I am going to eat, you know, the whole 30 for 30 days, you're damn straight. I'm gonna do it. Yeah.

[00:29:38] Mary: Well you did. You did 75

[00:29:39] Mary: hard too, didn't you?

[00:29:41] Julie: But like all you need to do then is like what you're doing then you at, you know, you know.

[00:29:46] Mary: Yeah. I do know. Yes.

[00:29:48] Mary: Here's, here's where I think people get tripped, tripped up. And maybe where I have, I'm also good at rationalizing a lot of things. So for instance, let's just say I decided I didn't wanna drink [00:30:00] alcohol anymore, which I always flirt with. Like, I don't, I'm not a huge drinker, but, and I don't like how it affects my sleep and stuff 'cause I'm focused on health and optimizing my health.

[00:30:07] Mary: Yeah. But let's just say, I'm like, you know, I'm not gonna have alcohol anymore. And I have all the reasons and it is important 'cause I do believe like there's nothing really good about it and it's bad for you and all that stuff. But then I can just, you know, be like, have high resolution. But then it's like a Friday night and I'm out with friends and I'm like, you know, I'm a really healthy person.

[00:30:27] Mary: And I started to tell myself like, I don't really drink that much. Like what's one glass of wine gonna do? So I can easily kind of soften my stance on something to then therefore allow myself to do it. Like I can rationalize anything it seems.

[00:30:42] Julie: Yeah.

[00:30:43] Mary: So I gotta get over that. I mean, and it feels like you don't do that.

[00:30:46] Mary: It's just like, well,

[00:30:47] Julie: only if it's in the competition though. I mean, right. Yeah. So that's why I have to keep, sorry, my dog's barking.

[00:30:55] Mary: Oh, that's okay. We can't hear it. You're all good. Okay.

[00:30:57] Julie: You know, I just have to [00:31:00] set like, I'm done running now. Like, you know what I'm doing at work, I'm cra you know, so I haven't run since the last marathon.

[00:31:07] Julie: So, you know, to each their own what works.

[00:31:10] Mary: Mm-hmm. That's so cool. I just, I wish I could like bottle a little bit of, like I was saying to Julie earlier that if I wanna set a goal and really do something that the best thing I could do is probably tell Julie about it because then. I would have this voice in my head.

[00:31:27] Mary: Number one, I would know that you knew Yeah. That I had the goal. Yeah. Which would actually hold, like there'd be some social pressure there because you are a person who achieves goals. So I'd be like, oh, I can't fail. So that would bother me like, like that would be like a value. Like, oh, I can't be lesser than this commitment to this, this person who achieves goals.

[00:31:45] Mary: Then I also know that if I was ever wavering, I would could call you and you'd be like, remember, and you would hold me accountable in one of those sort of like tough but supportive ways.

[00:31:57] Mary: Right? Because I

[00:31:57] Mary: have other friends who I would call and be like, you know, they'd be [00:32:00] like, Mary, you do a lot. You're really busy.

[00:32:02] Mary: Just give yourself some grace. Take it easy.

[00:32:05] Julie: That's not

[00:32:05] Julie: your accountability part. That is not the correct accountability partner.

[00:32:10] Mary: No, no. But depending on what you want, you would call the, like you, you could call the person who helps you give into that, or call the person who holds you up to the standard.

[00:32:20] Mary: So yeah. Anyway, you're gonna end up being an accountability partner at some point on something. I just have to make it a really good one. Okay. I'm, I'm there, whatever it is. Thank you. Okay, so basketball, that was one of your big things. Huge. Who are you today? Like what has that basketball experience given you in terms of like tools and skills and things like that?

[00:32:43] Julie: Well, lots of things. I mean, interacting on a team. Then my senior year I was the, the, the captain. So I did learn really from an early age just interacting with those girls that. You have to [00:33:00] treat people differently. Like what inspires one, you know, I had girls on the team that you had to, you know, yell at and that motivated them.

[00:33:08] Julie: And then you had ones that God, they would've gone and cried had you done, you know? So yeah, just how you can level people up differently. I think, you know, being the captain and being the leader, um, working together, just any team can go further than an individual, you know? So getting everyone's abilities to coordinate with each other, right.

[00:33:34] Julie: So I felt like I learned, learned a lot from basketball that I take into the world. I, I think sports are crucial.

[00:33:42] Mary: Mm-hmm. I

[00:33:43] Julie: think everyone should play sports,

[00:33:44] Mary: really,

[00:33:45] Julie: but,

[00:33:45] Mary: Or do something. I think so. Well now that I've had my own kids. I didn't play a lot of sports. I play, I started a lot of sports, but I don't think I was very good.

[00:33:52] Mary: And then we moved around a lot legitimately so I could never like, put time into anything, but my kids played sports and people would always be like, why are you spending all [00:34:00] that money on, like, competitive sports and helping your kids? But those transferable skills are so massive. Like all the things that you're describing, including like commitment follow through, showing up when you don't feel like it losing.

[00:34:19] Mary: 'cause in sports you lose, like, in the, in the rest of the world. Like there seems to be like you know, bubble tape around everything. So nobody gets hurt, but in

[00:34:27] Julie: sports. Hold tape, Mary. Oh, sure. Do you hear the dog?

[00:34:30] Mary: No, I don't. You don't

[00:34:31] Julie: hear him barking?

[00:34:33] Mary: No. Okay. It must be Zoom blocking it out. No problem.

[00:34:37] Mary: Hmm.

[00:34:42] Mary: All right. So we were talking about, so first of all, dogs bark. That's life. I have a dog sleeping on, um, sleeping on a chair next to me, and it's the time when kids get outta school. So if the windows were open, it would be pure chaos in my house. 'cause he would think, she would think that, uh, everybody's here for her or here to hurt all of [00:35:00] us.

[00:35:00] Mary: Anyway. So you're talking about sports and the qualities that you gain from sports and how everybody should play them. I totally agree, and especially in a world where we're. People are getting participation awards for things and every, we're there, there seems to be such an effort to make things easy.

[00:35:18] Julie: Mm-hmm.

[00:35:19] Mary: Especially for kids growing up and stuff and like, you know, and I'm not for bullying or whatever, but some of the hard things growing up are the things that give you the skills and tools and resilience to do things you know, to, to face what is, you know, a tough life sometimes. So. Right. Um, I guess

[00:35:35] Julie: it depends what profession you end up in, right?

[00:35:38] Julie: Like, so if you Oh yeah. Are a creator and you're working by yourself, but if you're, you, like, in my world, you know, if you're on a team, I think there's, for me, performance evals are two things, you know, how well we do as a whole group. Mm-hmm. You know, that's what, if the business is successful, then there's more in the pot for everyone.

[00:35:59] Julie: Yeah. [00:36:00] But it's not distributed evenly, you know, so it's the same in sports. It's. Some people got more playing time than if you wanted to be on the championship team, right? Mm-hmm. Like everyone showed up to practice, everyone put the work in, but the better people, the ones who worked harder or whatever, got more playing time, but you know, everyone had their role and so that's how I function on my team.

[00:36:26] Julie: Love it as well. You know, because I think it takes away from the high achievers if it's comp, I think it shouldn't be about only you, it has to be about the team. But then I think you need to be recognized for your individual effort. Totally. And if you don't do both, I mean, the high achievers, why should I try as hard as I'm, you know,

[00:36:50] Julie: trying.

[00:36:52] Mary: Yeah. There, there needs to be positive outcomes for people who put in more.

[00:36:56] Julie: Right. But if

[00:36:57] Julie: the team, it's, it's gotta start with the team. If [00:37:00] the team doesn't do well. Yeah. I don't care how well an individ, you know, the team has to come first. Yep, totally. But what you do as an individual should be recognized and should matter.

[00:37:11] Mary: I think so too,

[00:37:11] Julie: in my mind. And that is definitely something you could see on team sports, at least when I played them. You know, everyone. Well, I,

[00:37:20] Mary: yeah, and I think it, the, the difference might be like in competitive sports now, I mean, I know like with my kids, you know, they're 18 and 20 now, but when they were playing competitive sports, you pay a lot of money to have your kids pay play competitively.

[00:37:33] Mary: So there's a bit of an expectation that the kid's not just gonna sit on the bench because you're like, why would you, you shouldn't be there unless the kid's good enough to play and if they do all the right things, they should get some playing time. Mm-hmm. It isn't you know, it isn't, it isn't a system based on paying to play.

[00:37:51] Mary: It's a system based on who's best. And you know, that was a great thing for our kids. Like both of our kids were good. They were never the best. And so on a team, they always had [00:38:00] to swallow being second, third string or whatever it is. They always had to, they saw players who were better and they knew what it took to work hard to get better.

[00:38:10] Mary: Like my son on his hockey team for a few years in high school was on the bubble of not making the next level team, but he'd make it. But then he'd be like, you know, the last defenseman picked. So, but by the end of the season he'd be one of the top ones. 'cause he would be among that group of people that were better than him.

[00:38:28] Julie: Yeah.

[00:38:28] Mary: And he'd be driven to get better, but he wouldn't like that, you know, just being on the team didn't get him playing time. He had to do the work and had to get better. Right. That's life. Like, life isn't built to be easy,

[00:38:39] Julie: I feel like. Would you rather be the superstar on a team that a losing team or would you rather just be one of the, like nobody knows your name, but you are on the championship team?

[00:38:52] Julie: Yeah. Championship team. Champion all day long, I mean. Mm-hmm. Totally. Yeah. Totally.

[00:38:59] Mary: Yeah. So [00:39:00] it's interesting 'cause there's this, there's this, um, tension. I think you tell me 'cause I'm that if you're so competitive and wanna be the best and, and that drives you. Mm-hmm. And then on a team sport, you have to then let go a little bit of that personal drive in order to support the team getting better.

[00:39:21] Mary: Was that ever a thing for you? Like, did you ever feel the, like sometimes you see like the best players mad at everybody else. Because they're like, you're not holding up your end of the whatever. And then in other, in other cases, the best players are the so humble and trying to let everybody else be better.

[00:39:39] Mary: Like, but you'd have to be like driven enough personally to, to do well yourself, to deserve to be there in the first place. Yeah. But then also be okay with everybody else getting better and trying to support their,

[00:39:55] Julie: yeah. Well for me it was, it was the program. [00:40:00] Like it was, it, I, I, it was an honor to be there, an honor to play on the program.

[00:40:04] Julie: So I was going to literally like run through a brick wall if I had to, to get a loose ball for it. But I could have had a amazing game. I could have had 25 points, but if we lost, I didn't care about my individual performance, I would take the win for the team all day over any, any personal. So anytime.

[00:40:27] Julie: Yeah. If my expectation of a teammate was such a way, it was because they didn't care about the team and they didn't care about winning as a team.

[00:40:39] Mary: Right. You know, that they, so that's actually the quality that matters more than any technical skill.

[00:40:45] Julie: Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Yeah,

[00:40:46] Mary: yeah. Yeah. I see that. I totally see that.

[00:40:49] Mary: Yeah. Okay, so that's basketball. What was your next moment?

[00:40:54] Julie: So I mean, these, the, the, the becoming the dentist and then meeting my [00:41:00] husband are both, you know, kind of like. Similar timeframe.

[00:41:04] Mary: Okay. So let's talk about that. So you knew all like going into Penn State? Yes. Did you have to take, did you go, like, did you, like, did you get accepted into a dentistry program?

[00:41:14] Mary: Right. Like at 18 years old right. Outta high school? Or do you have to do a bit and then undergrad applied.

[00:41:18] Julie: Okay. So Penn State

[00:41:20] Julie: was undergrad, so four years undergrad. And we had a general science major that was like our pre-med major. Okay. And I didn't want to be pre-med 'cause I didn't wanna be a doc. I didn't, I didn't want the perception like I wanted to be a doctor and I couldn't make it.

[00:41:35] Julie: So now I'm a dentist, like I wanted to take, so our science, I majored in our general science and I could take all the prerequisites that I needed to go to dental school. Okay. And also minored in psychology. And I didn't finish, but I had a Spanish minor also a double minored.

[00:41:51] Mary: Wow.

[00:41:52] Mary: That feels

[00:41:52] Julie: busy.

[00:41:54] Julie: But Phil, you told me.

[00:41:56] Mary: Yeah, that's right. We're not busy. Our lives, we're [00:42:00] fulfilling lives. I love it. Right.

[00:42:02] Julie: Um, so I was, I played club basketball for fun at that point, at Penn State, but I was there to get an education. And then, yeah, so I applied to dental school my senior year of college. Okay. And my senior year of college is when I met my husband.

[00:42:22] Mary: Okay.

[00:42:23] Julie: I had a shitty boyfriend throughout high school and into college. Okay. So through high school and into college. I kept that relationship going for a while. We broke up and my club basketball team was headed down to Virginia Tech to play basketball, which is where he went to school.

[00:42:46] Mary: Oh.

[00:42:47] Julie: So I decided not to go, and I went home that weekend and went to a Halloween party of a girl that I had worked with over the summer in a chemistry QA lab.

[00:42:59] Julie: She was a [00:43:00] chemist.

[00:43:00] Mary: Yeah.

[00:43:01] Julie: And I, and that's my sister-in-law now.

[00:43:05] Mary: So No way.

[00:43:06] Julie: Her brother showed,

[00:43:07] Mary: you could have gone to the school that he was going to and he would've been there, but he happened to not be there. The, the weekend?

[00:43:13] Julie: No, no, no. My

[00:43:14] Julie: ex-boyfriend.

[00:43:16] Julie: Oh.

[00:43:17] Julie: Because I had, I avoided going to Virginia Tech because my ex-boyfriend was there.

[00:43:24] Mary: Got

[00:43:25] Julie: it. And I went home.

[00:43:26] Mary: Good

[00:43:26] Mary: decision.

[00:43:27] Julie: Yeah. I went home instead. Met Ryan. And yeah, I was dressed as a nun, not even cute nun, like, just a like pure, like full habit, like the whole habit. And it had Velcro with funny sayings on it. Like, nun sin, none of your business, none for you. And you could switch 'em out in mid party.

[00:43:52] Julie: I love a good pun. That's amazing. And he was at the bar with his friends and his mom had gilded him to go to his sister's Halloween party. [00:44:00] And then he met this cute nun there.

[00:44:03] Mary: That's adorable. Uh, the nun

[00:44:05] Mary: outfit. Mm-hmm. Not the sexy nun, the actual one.

[00:44:08] Julie: He, he was,

[00:44:09] Julie: um, in the reserves and got caught up and got sent to arrest.

[00:44:14] Julie: So we knew each other. So we met each other at the party. The very next Monday he called me and was like, Hey, it's me. Like, what do you mean me? Who's me? You know? And uh, he came to visit me and then we were. Just dating only a couple months and he got sent Iraq for a year.

[00:44:33] Mary: Holy smokes.

[00:44:34] Julie: And so we kept the relationship going, which was hard, but really good.

[00:44:39] Julie: 'cause now, nowadays, and just anytime I think you meet someone and you're young and in love mm-hmm. Um, you maybe don't talk enough

[00:44:50] Mary: Yeah.

[00:44:51] Julie: All week.

[00:44:51] Mary: Yeah. You're

[00:44:52] Mary: swept away in the romance of it and you're going on great dates. It's almost like a honeymoon period. Yeah. And so maybe you don't get to know each other as much [00:45:00] as you would if you had to do it through correspondence.

[00:45:02] Julie: Right. So we had

[00:45:03] Julie: only could talk, you know, so we, we had talked about everything, you know? Yeah. How we felt about kids and money and what we, you know, so we really, it was a good year. While I wouldn't do long distance forever, I think there was a lot of value to that first year mm-hmm. Of being apart. Yeah.

[00:45:23] Julie: But then when he came back, I mean, I wasn't sure if. I wasn't sure if he would be the same person or if I, I mean, I barely knew him. Mm-hmm. And then, you know, he's coming back from war, like war a whole year. Um, yeah. But oh yeah, we got, it was funny. He got a break towards the end of his year, so I think it was like 10 months in.

[00:45:43] Julie: He got a break and he got to come home for two weeks. And I was actually afraid he was gonna propose 'cause I was like, like, I'm not sure I'm ready. Like, he seemed very sure early on in our relationship. But I had come off, you know, this previous relationship. [00:46:00]

[00:46:00] Mary: Mm-hmm.

[00:46:01] Julie: And um, so I was just scared and not not ready.

[00:46:04] Julie: Yeah.

[00:46:05] Mary: And then

[00:46:05] Julie: he didn't,

[00:46:06] Mary: it's a

[00:46:06] Mary: big leap too, to not know, like I know you got to know each other really well. Yeah. And probably better than most, but, right. Like Yeah. You hadn't had like the dirty socks and the, why aren't you cleaning up after yourself?

[00:46:19] Julie: Correct. Correct.

[00:46:20] Mary: Stuff.

[00:46:20] Mary: Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny.

[00:46:22] Julie: He came home, we spent the two weeks together.

[00:46:24] Julie: He did not propose, and I was like, kind of disappointed. I was like so nervous he was going to like,

[00:46:31] Julie: and that didn't,

[00:46:32] Julie: and I, that's why I was like, so, he, when he got back from my Iraq for Good, then we did get engaged shortly thereafter, and then we were engaged for about a year, year and a half till we got married.

[00:46:44] Mary: Okay. Now, where were you in your, because I'm always curious how this works with professionally, like in school when

[00:46:50] Julie: this was

[00:46:51] Mary: going on.

[00:46:51] Julie: So I met,

[00:46:51] Julie: I was a senior at Penn State when we met. Yeah. And then he was in Iraq for the end of my senior year and the [00:47:00] beginning, my first year of dental school.

[00:47:02] Mary: Okay.

[00:47:03] Julie: So actually when he came home to visit, I was in dental school.

[00:47:08] Mary: Okay. Yeah, because that's a, that's a pretty intense time for you too.

[00:47:12] Julie: Extremely intense.

[00:47:14] Julie: Yeah.

[00:47:15] Mary: And I, yeah, I can only imagine that you wanted to do really well in dental school, that you had a goal.

[00:47:20] Julie: Of course, of course, of course.

[00:47:22] Mary: How long is dental school? I don't know these things.

[00:47:24] Julie: Four years. A whole four years.

[00:47:26] Julie: So

[00:47:26] Julie: four more years. So I did four years at Penn State for my undergrad, and then four more years in dental school. And then I did a year residency program at a hospital.

[00:47:37] Mary: Okay. Okay. So now I wanna slow down a bit 'cause I don't get to talk to dentists all the time about why they do what they do and what makes them love it.

[00:47:43] Mary: But you hear these things about dentists that like there's a high suicide rate. Am I right about that? Yeah, in the, okay.

[00:47:50] Julie: And I, well, people quote that, I didn't know it, but as soon as I'm like, oh, I wanna be a dentist, they're like, why would you wanna do that? It's the number one suicide rate. And I'm like, okay.[00:48:00]

[00:48:00] Julie: It would always make me stop and think, but then I was like, well, I think I'd worry more if you said it was the highest murder rate. 'cause I'm like, well, I control the suicide. So

[00:48:09] Mary: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I say about this.

[00:48:12] Julie: Okay. That's weird. Okay. But yeah, people quote that a lot.

[00:48:16] Mary: I don't know if it's actually true.

[00:48:17] Mary: 'cause I don't know if I've ever looked at the data, but

[00:48:20] Julie: I mean, I could understand why it would be, I think because it can be very isolating profession.

[00:48:26] Julie: Okay.

[00:48:27] Julie: Like if you are a small practice by yourself.

[00:48:30] Mary: Yeah.

[00:48:31] Julie: Own it. You know, a lot of people are phobic and I guess what people are saying, I, I mean, yeah.

[00:48:38] Julie: I don't know. I, I guess I could understand. I don't think, I think at one point it was true. You'd have to look it up and see if that's istic is still,

[00:48:45] Mary: I probably should

[00:48:46] Mary: have done my research before I asked you this question, but I just, I find it. Yeah.

[00:48:49] Julie: I don't think it's true any longer. However, I can understand a little bit maybe why.

[00:48:56] Mary: Yeah. Well, okay. So you said to me once too, a [00:49:00] couple times earlier today we were talking and you said, I, I. I work in millimeters. Is it millimeters?

[00:49:05] Julie: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:49:06] Mary: Yeah. Like, like it is pretty insane the detail work. So someone explained it to me like, you go from your house, into your car, into your office, into your examination room, into somebody's mouth, into their tooth, uhhuh.

[00:49:21] Mary: And so like, it's this like spatially for a human, you're like going in like to be, to work in such intense detail. It's incredible to me. And then to take care of people's teeth, but not mess up the rest of the tooth or the teeth next to it is just mind boggling to me. I don't know how that goes.

[00:49:38] Julie: Yeah. It, it is millimeters.

[00:49:40] Julie: Yeah. I mean

[00:49:41] Julie: millimeters.

[00:49:42] Mary: Yeah. Like you, you like on a bad day, you slip, your hands are jittery, whatever. Like you can't have that, you know?

[00:49:50] Julie: I mean, you can't have that.

[00:49:52] Mary: You can't have that. I know. No. So what do you love about it?

[00:49:58] Julie: Now or what attracted [00:50:00] me to it?

[00:50:00] Mary: Oh, let's answer both. I think they're both interesting.

[00:50:03] Julie: Initially it was to be important. Yeah. Like I still wanted

[00:50:09] Mary: a job that mattered, a

[00:50:10] Mary: respected profession is that, yeah,

[00:50:13] Julie: I wanted to matter and I wanted to be respected.

[00:50:17] Julie: Mm-hmm.

[00:50:18] Julie: And now what I love about it most is that I can be an entrepreneur.

[00:50:25] Mary: Hmm. That's super cool. Yeah. So tell me about that journey.

[00:50:29] Mary: 'cause that's a whole different part of it. 'cause there's lots of dentists who go in and work at practices and don't want the business part of it, so Oh, yeah. How did that call you?

[00:50:38] Julie: Yeah, that wasn't on my radar. I mean, I'm just trying to get through dental school, trying to get all my requirements, become a dentist.

[00:50:45] Julie: I thought I would go out into private practice and find another dentist to work for, and maybe someday they'd let me buy into their practice, you know? But I felt all would be well in the world and that was the way things were gonna go. Yeah. Not what [00:51:00] happened. Um, I had three failed associateships. So an associate is, you don't own the practice, but you're the dentist.

[00:51:09] Mary: Okay.

[00:51:09] Julie: So that's, we call associate. So, um, my first one, he was committing insurance fraud, so, oh no. Oh yeah. Like, so I was there a couple months. I'm like, this is not for, he tr I, I did a filling on my husband and he, it was a one surface, this is like dental tox. So

[00:51:27] Mary: Yeah. So that's like easy.

[00:51:29] Julie: It's a certain size, it's a billable.

[00:51:31] Julie: I did one surface of his tooth, that's what I built for. And he was like, I never do once, I never, never do. That size. And so my question back to him was like, are you asking me to drill where he didn't have decay or are you telling me just to bill for it? Because either way, I'm like, I'm not good with this, but I'm just You're trying Yeah.

[00:51:54] Julie: Curious. Like what we're talking about here, you know? Yeah. Like he would, um, if his hygienist had [00:52:00] dental insurance, he would bill like a crown and not even do the crown. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, you can go to jail for, so I nicely put, there was an article in the a DA, it's an, it's a dental publication, all about this guy that went to jail for insurance fraud.

[00:52:20] Julie: So I of course, like put it right on his desk, highlighted some parts. Yeah. Like, you might wanna read this buddy. So he, he, he let me go and Wow. It was, we had a 90 day probationary period and he gave me the notice. I, I was pregnant with our first child at the time.

[00:52:41] Mary: Oh my gosh. And you're having babies around all this time.

[00:52:44] Julie: I'm pregnant with the first, I already know, like, I'm not staying, but I planned, I thought in my mind, I thought, I'm gonna stick this out when I'm on maternity leave. I'll look for a new job. Mm-hmm. And go from there. Well, you know, I, [00:53:00] but I'm also not quite, you know, I put the article on the desk that didn't go well, and, uh, somebody might've said, maybe wait, I, I, I wasn't gonna do, I know Immoral thing.

[00:53:14] Julie: I love that. I love that. Yeah. Um, so he didn't care for that. And, uh,

[00:53:18] Mary: so wait,

[00:53:18] Mary: but he lets you go, oh, you're in the probation period. So does that affect Yeah.

[00:53:23] Julie: Yeah. He let me go and, but like he get, he went on vacation. I still had to workout my last day. I mean. I, I, you know, technically I, I was like, oh my God, I'm, I just got fired.

[00:53:36] Julie: Like, you know, not, I wasn't told to leave that day. He just gave me notice and was like, Hey, we're not gonna continue this relationship past the 90 days. This was a couple weeks before the 90 days. I'm like, okay. And, um, so I'm like devastated thinking like, geez, I've never, like, I, I've, I got straight A's.

[00:53:55] Julie: I'm like, yeah,

[00:53:56] Mary: sorry. You're not, you don't get

[00:53:57] Julie: fired. I've never lost a, I mean, I [00:54:00] just lost my job and I'm pregnant. Yeah. But it turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I did, I applied for unemployment and then Right. I was on, and I, I put my loans. I was able to defer my student loans. And so I looked for a job.

[00:54:17] Julie: I found a job, I had a job lined up before I had our daughter. Mm-hmm. And so I started. Right after that. So it was a blessing. Now knowing, you know, like what it's like to have a baby, that would've been extremely hard to be looking for a job. You know, I was able to line up the next job before. And so there was, there were gifts in it, even though it didn't feel

[00:54:36] Mary: like it at the time.

[00:54:37] Mary: At

[00:54:37] Julie: the time it was devastating, but it was a gift. And I was like, also it, once, it wasn't not known, like I thought it would reflect badly on me, but when I was asked where I was working they were like, oh, okay. Yeah. He said,

[00:54:55] Julie: you know,

[00:54:55] Julie: like, it was not a good deal.

[00:54:57] Mary: Yeah. You know what's good about that?

[00:54:59] Mary: Is that [00:55:00] bad people, like, it's hard to hide it. And so you didn't have to say anything?

[00:55:06] Julie: No,

[00:55:06] Mary: because the world would know that anyway,

[00:55:09] Mary: you know? Right. Like

[00:55:10] Mary: sometimes, you know, and you didn't have to go and talk about it, but the world, oh, no. That's

[00:55:13] Julie: good. I did not talk about it, but it, I didn't reflect badly on me and I got yeah, job.

[00:55:20] Julie: And then the second job was good busy practice. I got a lot of good experience. Um mm-hmm. But they didn't like crazy guys. Like this is, this is a, I don't know what it is with the dental world, with men, but the first one that I worked for, the story was, he actually used to be a really good dentist, but he was going, he went through a divorce and then he was remarried and just spending way too much money and he just spent too much money.

[00:55:48] Julie: And then it started, he morally went down a bad road 'cause he was

[00:55:52] Mary: oh,

[00:55:53] Julie: dropped financially. So next place I'm at, it's a guy and a, a guy and girl. They don't, they're [00:56:00] married but not to each other. This dentist is cheating on his wife.

[00:56:05] Mary: Oh.

[00:56:05] Julie: With one of our patients?

[00:56:07] Mary: No. Yeah. But so this could be, this could be like, um, like a primetime soap opera.

[00:56:15] Julie: Yeah. I think the dental world is very soap opera, not

[00:56:18] Mary: the Housewives of New Jersey. It's just the, um, the drama of, yeah.

[00:56:24] Julie: So I was there a year and after a year they were going to change my contract. I was paid on like a percent of what I, I did, which is very general and like that's how you're normally paid.

[00:56:35] Julie: Okay. And they

[00:56:35] Julie: wanted me, the owner, the guy owner found out that I made close to what he made. But not, I'm sure not now owning a business. I'm sure not. Maybe that's what he paid himself. But Right, right, right, right. Yeah. I didn't own the business. I didn't have benefits, you know, like whatever. Yeah,

[00:56:52] Mary: yeah, yeah.

[00:56:53] Mary: But he didn't own, also, it's kind of like shame on you for being a high performer. Like they set up the comp structure, but then it's like, [00:57:00] oh. I mean, I've been in a business like that before and then it was like, oh, all of a sudden we wanna put you on salary. We don't want you to do a percent of what you do.

[00:57:05] Julie: Exactly. Yeah. You're like, you wanted to put me on salary. Yeah. And it was, the salary was half of what I had made the previous year. No thanks. And so I, I walked, I'm like, no. Yeah. And I'm pregnant now. I'm pregnant with the second. So I'm like, oh my gosh, what is this? I get pregnant, I lose my job. But, uh, so I, I was like, I'm, that's insane.

[00:57:30] Julie: And I knew I wouldn't have maternity leave either, like mm-hmm. We don't have that in the United States. No, I know. And I know, um, the, neither of the owners had kids, so they weren't super kid friendly to begin with. So the last thing I wanted to do was be on a set salary. Totally. And then not be able to pro, you know, make more money when I was actually there, you know?

[00:57:51] Julie: So anyways, of course I was, that's,

[00:57:53] Mary: it is such a thing, like you can't give something to somebody and then take it away. I had the same, I had a very similar [00:58:00] comp structure first couple years in a business, and then it was like, yeah, well you're gonna go on salary and then you're get a part of the profits, but like, the owner gets to decide what the profit is.

[00:58:10] Mary: 'cause you just put everything else back into the business. Mm-hmm. So like you're, you know, like mm-hmm. So the whole thing was like, huh. And then it's like, I know I'm capable of producing this. Yeah. What's funny is I started this business after I left that business. Yeah, yeah. Because I was like, Hmm, if I can produce and I can like do all the things, then why wouldn't I just do that for myself?

[00:58:32] Mary: And like, clearly you're now three times over trying to work for somebody. Yeah. And we went into dentistry because you have it checked all the boxes. Mm-hmm. You can work with your hands, you can do something that matters. You can be in a respected profession and go to your kids' games and whatever, but it really didn't offer you much stability at all.

[00:58:50] Mary: So.

[00:58:50] Julie: Yeah. Well, that's what happens. So third, third office I go to, it's a satellite office. The owner owns multiple practices, so I get put at the practice.

[00:58:59] Mary: Mm-hmm. [00:59:00]

[00:59:00] Julie: I'm still only getting paid a percent of what I'm doing, but I'm now managing this practice, so I am running it. I'm hiring people. Wow. I'm firing people.

[00:59:10] Julie: I'm, I'm there and I. So it was, and I was, it was great, but I was also like, I wanna be paid to do this. So I attempted to buy the practice from him because I wanted to be in control. He was just like a barrier to me getting things done. Yeah. You know,

[00:59:30] Mary: and, and you're also realizing I'm doing everything from A to Z in this practice.

[00:59:35] Mary: So like, why would I do that just to line someone else's pockets,

[00:59:38] Julie: cor. Correct. So, but he was going through a divorce, so he's cheating on his wife with his business manager. So he's going through a divorce, so he needs to like liquid all his assets. So he had a big corporation coming in, looking at all the practices to buy.

[00:59:53] Julie: So while he was stringing me along, he said he would sell me the practice, like we had a letter of intent. [01:00:00] I was pretty quickly realized like he has no intention of actually selling me this one practice. Mm-hmm. And then the other practice is selling to this corporation. Like obviously right. He's not going to do that, but he doesn't want me to leave, so he's stringing me along.

[01:00:14] Julie: So at that point, I'm to the third failed associateship and, but now I have experience, right? Mm-hmm. So like, I'm like, I am, no, I don't wanna, but no job security.

[01:00:25] Julie: Yeah. You know,

[01:00:26] Julie: so it's like, oh my gosh, I went to dental school. I have all this debt and I, I have no job security. They can change my contract, they can do whatever, you know, they can do whatever they want.

[01:00:37] Julie: Mm-hmm. So it was either,

[01:00:39] Mary: it's a harsh

[01:00:39] Mary: lesson to learn so quickly out of your, like the schooling and all of that, but it's also probably the best thing to learn early.

[01:00:48] Julie: It was amazing. It was amazing. Yeah. I wouldn't trade any one of those associates

[01:00:52] Mary: Yeah.

[01:00:53] Julie: Ship positions because I wouldn't have been able to do what I've now done had I not.

[01:00:59] Julie: Had those [01:01:00] experiences.

[01:01:01] Julie: Yeah. You know, had I

[01:01:01] Julie: not learned, you know, what kind of dentist I want to be, got comfortable with my dentistry, you know, saw some other things about how to run a business, got some experience doing it, all sorts of things. So at that point, I'm dead set. Like I am going to work for myself.

[01:01:17] Julie: It's just a matter, am I going to start my own practice or am I going to buy an existing practice? Right. And I looked, I looked around at some existing practices for sale and they just weren't great. All the owners felt they were worth more than they really were. And you're really just buying goodwill.

[01:01:33] Julie: And I'm like, what? I can make my own damn goodwill. And so I took, I love it. I had some classmates that did startup practices literally from scratch, scratch to startup. And so I took the course and I got some business, you know, I was learning business stuff at this point. And um, the accountant told me, don't do it.

[01:01:52] Julie: Don't do it. Really? Yeah. He said. And I was like, well, I'm doing it like I'm, it was the

[01:01:59] Mary: [01:02:00] accountant's probably a safety, security driven type person too. Mm-hmm. Right. Uhhuh. And so the entrepreneur, like for me, once I, like, it took me a long time to become an entrepreneur. Like I, a 20 year career. Before that, I had always had a job, but I was always kind of reverberating off of somebody else's system.

[01:02:15] Mary: Uhhuh. And that was safe. But that's too comfortable. Like I, people, clients sometimes will be like, can I hire you? Like, can you just get rid of all your other clients? I like, like, I have like a physical reaction against it. 'cause I just want, like, I can't imagine not having the freedom to decide and all of that.

[01:02:29] Mary: But on the job security front, it's a perception security. Like when you have a job, any job you perceive that you're secure because it's a big company, whatever. But like if you've been on any leadership teams, the, the, the wind could blow in a different direction one day and they wipe out an entire department.

[01:02:48] Mary: The only, so in my world, bet on yourself a hundred percent. And like, it's like I am, I have the most control over my [01:03:00] financial future if I am in the driver's seat. Absolutely. A hundred

[01:03:04] Julie: percent that, that was it for me. Yeah. I'm like, no more. I'm going to be in control of this. Yeah. And there's no way I'm fail.

[01:03:14] Julie: Like, so I didn't care what the accountant said. I'm like, oh no. Like let's go like

[01:03:20] Mary: and look at you now.

[01:03:22] Julie: Yeah. And I, and there was a piece of me too, like you said, like I wanted, I didn't want to adopt. I didn't want to come in. I'd already done that with the other practice that I was not the owner where I had come into an existing and I had to.

[01:03:34] Julie: Mm-hmm. You kind of have to be slow and, you know, I wanted to just start from scratch. Mm-hmm. I just moved away. My patients, my staff, my systems, my everything. Like I, I built this, you know, not like I just bought something and then gradually tr you know, either went with the status quo or changed it a little bit.

[01:03:56] Julie: Yeah. Um, so I'm, so it's like,

[01:03:57] Mary: it's like inheriting, like you buy a house and you [01:04:00] inherit people's dirty rugs or Yeah. Whatever, you know, fixtures in the bathroom and you're like, oh, I should change it, but I can't really, like, it's, you know, like that whole thing of it's not yours, it's not fresh, it's not new.

[01:04:11] Mary: It's, yeah. Yeah. Yeah,

[01:04:13] Julie: so that's what I did. It started from scratch. Wednesday was 12 years since I opened, oh my gosh. The doors of my office. And I had one, I had two staff members and, you know, no patients technically. Mm-hmm. And just grown, grown, grown, grown, grown. Um, we had,

[01:04:30] Mary: so tell

[01:04:30] Mary: us now. Yeah, tell us about the team.

[01:04:32] Julie: So, and I have three ops, so three treatment rooms initially. So now at this point, I have 10 patient treatment rooms. Mm-hmm. I have probably 20 some at my peak. I mean, we go up and down. At my peak, I think we had 25 staff members. You know,

[01:04:50] Mary: that's a big practice.

[01:04:51] Julie: 6,000 patients. Yes. So. I'm growing again, which, you know.

[01:04:57] Julie: Yeah. So they're out of space and out of [01:05:00] parking and so I bought a building right up the road and we are gutting. I'm doing this whole thing again. I'm gutting it and I'm, so, I'm moving the practice to a new location. We'll have 25 ops. 25.

[01:05:13] Mary: That's incredible.

[01:05:14] Mary: Yeah. So I don't know the landscape of dentistry like you would.

[01:05:18] Mary: Mm-hmm. Um, but I, I mean, in my own view world, like I've never seen a practice that big.

[01:05:24] Julie: I don't

[01:05:25] Julie: think there

[01:05:26] Julie: are many Yeah. That are this big. That's amazing. That are privately owned right now, that are not corporation, you know, that aren't Right. A chain.

[01:05:37] Mary: Right. And so tell me, so, um, first of all, that's a massive accomplishment and I like, in a way, as you tell the story, and we go back to, I think of those three failed associate associateships or whatever you call them

[01:05:50] Julie: Yeah.

[01:05:50] Julie: Mm-hmm. Associate ships. Yeah. I think of

[01:05:51] Mary: those, it makes me think of like a Christmas carol, like the ghost of Christmas, past, present, future, whatever. Like those three were almost like, [01:06:00] like, little pressure cooker learning moments of

[01:06:03] Julie: Oh yeah.

[01:06:03] Mary: What not to do. Mm-hmm. And then it was also like you were getting, like, you, you were like faced with, I step into somebody else's business and I inherit all their garbage.

[01:06:15] Julie: Yeah.

[01:06:15] Mary: You know, so like, it's weird that, that and then like, what an intense time is your, you have a new marriage and you have your kids and uhhuh like, not ideal time, but also like the very best thing that could happen 'cause you learned what not to do. And also that you found your own, like, I can do this better and I'm going to, and now 12 years later here you are thriving and growing.

[01:06:36] Julie: Yep.

[01:06:37] Mary: Yeah, it's just amazing. I just got chills. I love it. So now let's talk a little bit before we wrap. I know you ha, I know you have a hard deadline 'cause we have kids to pick up and things like that. But what's possible now? Like, what do you think your next, clearly, you know, when we think about goals and things like that you are driven to do the next thing.

[01:06:55] Mary: And so now, next level of expansion's. Incredible. What do you think is the [01:07:00] next personal goal for yourself or the new frontier for you?

[01:07:04] Julie: Well, I think anything's

[01:07:05] Mary: possible.

[01:07:07] Mary: I

[01:07:07] Mary: love

[01:07:07] Mary: it,

[01:07:07] Julie: but I think it's about making decisions on what you want. So for a while I was very stagnant, just sitting still because other dentists who are more business-minded like me do additional practices.

[01:07:22] Julie: Right, right. So they do other locations, multiple practices and just, I, I just wasn't on board for that. Mm-hmm. Um, it wasn't. What I need. I, it didn't, it wouldn't have fulfilled me. 'cause part of me, I like to be a part of my team. I like my team to know who I am. Kids come and home. I, I like my team to know who I am.

[01:07:42] Julie: And it would be less controllable for me to be split between multiple locations. Um

[01:07:49] Mary: mm-hmm.

[01:07:50] Julie: So it just did nothing, you know, until I had the aha last October, like, I just need a bigger space. Like, I just need, I need one [01:08:00] location, but I need to be able to help my team level up and grow. And I, and I'm happy to take on more of them and we have enough patience for it, and, um, but I need to be there with them.

[01:08:13] Julie: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

[01:08:14] Mary: Um,

[01:08:15] Julie: so, I mean, I don't know what's next. It's not, it's, it's just interacting with, I mean, I don't think I should get much bigger than. No. You know, but

[01:08:24] Julie: it's just,

[01:08:25] Mary: uh, no. But there's this whole other super cool world that you can operate in when you create that bigger space and a bigger team and mm-hmm.

[01:08:34] Mary: And you really like, you, you now, you've probably seen what other entrepreneurial dentists do, and you're like, oh, that's possible. You probably flirted with that a little bit, but it's clear. And even before,

[01:08:45] Julie: but a lot

[01:08:46] Julie: of them seem driven by money for me,

[01:08:48] Mary: a lot of them. Right. Like,

[01:08:50] Julie: like

[01:08:50] Mary: financial growth,

[01:08:51] Julie: financial asset of this practice and what numbers it's doing and this and that.

[01:08:56] Julie: And for me, that wasn't appealing.

[01:08:58] Mary: Yeah.

[01:08:59] Julie: So [01:09:00] now it's levels, I guess when we were smaller I, I was everyone's person. Now I have a team under me, the leadership team. Yeah. So for me, it's like leveling up them so that they, their little mini teams, like they can level up those people. Mm-hmm. Um, your reach becomes.

[01:09:17] Julie: Further. Yeah. You know, if you, each person under you then is Yeah. Being kind of like what you're wanting to do, you know, inspiring people to be, making people be better. I, I wanna be the best and I wanna matter to people. Yeah. That's it. Like I want to push you and so I wanna know what you want and I wanna help you go get it.

[01:09:42] Julie: 'cause that's fun. Right.

[01:09:44] Mary: Well so now I go, this goes full circle 'cause I'm now going back to basketball. Yeah. And being the captain of the team, your senior year of high school. Mm-hmm. What mattered to you about that role on that team? In a way, it's a different playing field. The [01:10:00] vehicle is different. It's a dental practice.

[01:10:01] Mary: The patients are, you know, the patients are an extension. So when you think about the universe of people that you impact, it's a bigger team. And, and you can impact each one of their lives and their growth trajectory as a, any good captain or coach would do. Mm-hmm. And then you can have this positive impact in your community so you can amplify your impact in your community.

[01:10:23] Mary: And one-on-one, like, um, you know, what is this world if it isn't in this life, if, if it's not for human connection. And so you're building a vehicle to help people grow and to create real true connection. So to me, like it's not necessarily about the next level of like the next thousand patients you can bring into your doors.

[01:10:42] Mary: It's about what you can do with the people that are there. Mm-hmm. Yeah. That's pretty massive. Like to me, like it's, um, funny how these things come full, full circle, but mm-hmm.

[01:10:54] Julie: It just gets it. I told tell my son 'cause he's. He's playing high school [01:11:00] football, he's

[01:11:00] Mary: Yeah.

[01:11:01] Julie: On the freshman team. And it's just like, what I wouldn't give to go back and have that again.

[01:11:07] Mary: Yeah.

[01:11:08] Julie: As an adult it just becomes more challenging to find ways to compete

[01:11:15] Mary: Yeah.

[01:11:15] Julie: You know, to like, oh, play in the championship game, you know?

[01:11:19] Mary: Yeah.

[01:11:20] Julie: It just makes you feel so alive, I think

[01:11:23] Mary: to, well, I didn't have it, but I am a, like, I watch football, I love sports. I love the, when my kids were playing, like there's a reason that human beings are wired for sports.

[01:11:33] Mary: There's the hunt and the wind, there's the cheering people on. There's the being part of something like the fanatic fans out there. Like when you think about, when you think about that, yeah. People getting aligned with a team and a sport they've never played in a city they sometimes don't live in.

[01:11:50] Mary: Mm-hmm. But they like bleed that team. Mm-hmm. Where like, in my world of like wanting to inspire the working world again and get people engaged in [01:12:00] their life and their contribution they make and the teams that they play on, like that would be the ultimate goal is to, is to create a culture and a team that mimics, that reflects some of those qualities of fandom that like you're part of something, it is of you, you are of it.

[01:12:19] Mary: When you are in it, you change it and it changes you. Like to me, like what? Like, so you've built this business and you had to do so many things well in your life to get there, starting with school accomplishments and even getting into the program and then succeeding in that and all the things. And then you had to be a business owner and you became an entrepreneur and now you've created a business that gives you the opportunity to do the thing for humans mm-hmm.

[01:12:43] Mary: That you've always wanted to do. Like, to me, like that's the's the win.

[01:12:48] Julie: It's like, I wanna be a part of something bigger than myself.

[01:12:52] Mary: Yeah. And you, yeah. And you've created the vehicle for that.

[01:12:56] Julie: Yeah, but I like, I like to be in control. [01:13:00] I mean, I like to be driving the car. Like I want a lot of passengers in the car.

[01:13:05] Mary: That's right. That's right. Well, and then when you think about like this, we talk a lot about, you know, everybody brings different strengths to the table, right? Mm-hmm. And you and I have talked about before how you have this intense drive and this like, there's no excuses and just make it happen. Set the goal and make it happen.

[01:13:25] Mary: You need people like that in leadership roles to, to inspire and pull people forward. You are the momentum behind things. And then other people on the team will do the other things that, you know, what are those things? It's the taking care of others. It's setting up the systems and processes. It's the people who do the repeatable work all the time.

[01:13:45] Mary: It's the people who are like the cheerleaders in the sidelines or whatever. Like you. You need all of those people, but the world needs somebody like you driving the bus because you're the one that's like, brick wall, I've got you. Mm-hmm. Other people are like, there's a [01:14:00] brick wall. You guys wanna go have lunch?

[01:14:03] Mary: That's not you. Right. What's the fun in that? What's the fun in that? Right. Which is amazing. All right, so let's wrap up one. So after, I know this is, this might be an on the spot question, but think about looking back at your life and all the things you've done. If you could put one message on a billboard, all your learnings, what would it be?

[01:14:25] Mary: That other people could get something from?

[01:14:28] Julie: When there's a will, there's a way. I love it. Right? Yeah. Like can't is not in my vocabulary.

[01:14:36] Mary: No. No.

[01:14:38] Julie: And I don't, and, and I think it about myself, but I think about everyone, like I said, totally my team lead assistant.

[01:14:45] Julie: I'm like, I think you can

[01:14:46] Julie: do anything. Mm-hmm.

[01:14:48] Julie: I'm like, I, you're, you could do any role on this team, like you're so capable. Mm-hmm. And it perplexes me that she doesn't think that about herself. Right. Right. I, [01:15:00] I'm like, I wish you could see you the way that I see you.

[01:15:04] Mary: Right. Which is so powerful.

[01:15:07] Julie: Mm-hmm.

[01:15:08] Mary: To be that force, like, to be that. Um, so certainty is a superpower.

[01:15:15] Mary: Some people, and it can also be like a kryptonite. Some people need so much certainty that they don't take any risks and they play it safe all the time. And they won't grow because I like, I need to, I need to like hug the, you know, hug the shore, hug the side of the cliff or whatever. Right. But if you can give people, if you can be a carrier of certainty for people and support that in others, like the, the, you have such certainty when you say that you have such conviction about this person on your team.

[01:15:43] Julie: Mm-hmm.

[01:15:44] Mary: That when you say that to them, 100%, that affects them.

[01:15:48] Julie: Yeah.

[01:15:49] Mary: You know, we all have those people in our lives that believed in us before we believed in ourselves.

[01:15:54] Julie: Mm-hmm.

[01:15:54] Mary: And you are that for the people on your team. And they might [01:16:00] not believe in, and it might take a little bit of time and all the things, but everyone needs the person who says you can do whatever you want.

[01:16:08] Mary: Mm-hmm. And I'm here to support you doing that. Like, to me, that's super powerful. And it's also okay if some people don't wanna be on that bus. If some people are like, Hmm, that feels like a lot of work, that feels a little scary. That's not for me. That's okay. It's just not in your business.

[01:16:25] Julie: Well, it feel, I I, I get scared too.

[01:16:29] Julie: I just do it anyways though. Right. It's not about, it's not about not being afraid. It's about pushing through your fears and, you know, I don't doing anything I don't think just because you're afraid you shouldn't do something, that's probably absolutely what you should be doing.

[01:16:47] Mary: The thing you're most afraid of.

[01:16:49] Mary: Yeah. Yeah.

[01:16:49] Julie: I always love that little, and I show my team this on occasion, you know, that little, like your comfort zones like this big, but where the good shit happens is like way [01:17:00] outside this little circle. I love that comfort zone, right? Yeah.

[01:17:04] Mary: Yeah. It's interesting that everybody, and I like this is why you have to play the role that you have to play in the world and in the, the universe that you affect because mm-hmm.

[01:17:14] Mary: So many people might not feel ready for that, or might not have like a force of energy that's saying that to them and giving them permission, but also holding them accountable and giving them the opportunity, but also saying like, Hey, it's too bad. You're scared. You're gonna get over that. You're gonna go.

[01:17:29] Mary: Like it's, um, everybody needs a good coach. Like even the most, like high performing athletes have coaches, you know?

[01:17:39] Julie: Oh yeah. I always had, I always had idols and I always had coaches.

[01:17:43] Mary: Yeah.

[01:17:44] Julie: You know, I always had people that I looked up to and I wanted to do exactly what they were doing and I always had coaches and that I respected and I wanted to

[01:17:53] Mary: yeah.

[01:17:54] Mary: Yeah. I love it. Where there's a will, there's a way. This is so fun. You're one of my favorite [01:18:00] people. Thank you so much for doing this.

[01:18:02] Julie: Feelings mutual.

[01:18:03] Mary: Oh, I love it.

[01:18:04] Julie: And uh, otherwise I

[01:18:05] Julie: wouldn't do the podcast 'cause this

[01:18:07] Julie: is way outside my comfort zone.

[01:18:11] Mary: I so appreciate it. 'cause I think like there's, well, we learn about ourselves when we dig into our past and our stories of our lives and all that.

[01:18:18] Mary: So it's like, it's a good idea for us to do for ourselves. But the value that other people get from hearing human stories of what people went through and what got them to where they are. I mean, I just think that that's what makes the world an interesting place. So,

[01:18:30] Mary: yeah.

[01:18:30] Mary: Thank you so much.

[01:18:31] Julie: You're welcome.

[01:18:32] Julie: Thank you.

[01:18:33] Mary: All right.